Nostalgia
by MadDelight
Summary: ... It's been nearly seven years. I never thought I'd see you again..." Alice has been searching for someone, has she finally found her? Alice/Bella HIATUS AS OF 3/21/10
1. Pain

**Title:** Nostalgia

**Pairing: **Alice Cullen/ Bella Swan

**Summary: **Alice sees her true love everywhere, but will this true love ever be given a second chance?

**POV: **Third person

**Rating:** T

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Every time it was like a searing pain flooding her chest. She glanced around, making sure she hadn't actually cried out in pain, that it was only an inner scream. No one was staring, so that meant she hadn't actually screamed. Just as well, Alice smiled and turned to the cashier.

"Forty-dollars and thirty-four cents, please." The brunette cashier smiled and held out her hand.

Alice shelled out the money and finally let herself take a breath.

"Have a nice day!" The cashier called. Alice nodded in her direction before heading out the door into the waning afternoon sun.

Alice tilted the large straw hat down over her eyes, although it would hardly be necessary with the sunglasses she was already wearing. She made sure every inch of her skin was covered, pulling up the arm length gloves even though it had to be at least ninety degrees out.

Alice glanced around, still awed by the magnificent scenery. Although it was much less green, it was no less beautiful, not by any standards. She walked with her purchase back to the house she was renting, just outside of a small town in Arizona.

The house was modern, much like her home back in Forks, but far less grand. She stuck the key in the front door and flicked on the lights. She was always surprised by how much she actually appreciated the quiet of an empty home, such a luxury she had never known while staying with the Cullens.

Alice sighed and walked to the living room, where a large flat screen covered one wall and a thin row of windows covered the other. She situated herself on the couch so she could watch the sunset. Another luxury that she hadn't experienced. The sky was a breath taking orange and pink, with purple hues just touching the horizon. She loved watching the sun fall behind the hills and finally covers her windows with an abyss of darkness.

Her hand fluttered to her chest and she closed her eyes tightly. Behind the protective walls of her house, Alice could let her ever-cheerful smile fade.

It was never any easier. With every outing into the small town her hope dwindled. It's true, Bella would've been in her mid-twenties by now. But that didn't matter. Every brown head of hair and build like Bella's made Alice's head turn. Maybe it was foolish, but she couldn't just give up. After all, what else was there to do with an eternity?

She brought her slender fingers up to rub her temples. The visions had been few and far between, but Alice was certain that Bella had to be nearby. But, what then? Was she disillusioned enough to think that after nearly seven years Bella would still want to speak with her?

Alice sighed and opened her eyes, reaching for the remote and flicking on the TV. If only to distract herself momentarily.

It had been hard, leaving Bella when Edward forced them to. After that, everything had just sort of fallen apart. The family splintered, and went their own way. Everyone in couples, but Edward and herself. He had gone to the ends of the earth, destruction finding him in the end. She wanted to follow, but she couldn't bring herself to cease existing. Back then, the visions of Bella were still so strong. Alice shook her head. But it would be foolish to give up now, after losing everything she had known. Her one sole purpose was to find the girl in her visions. To find Bella and be reunited again. Perhaps things could be as they were; perhaps they could at least be friends again. She needed that at least.

**--------**

As day broke, Alice turned to watch the sunrise. A new determination was building within her and bubbling over, pouring out with a bright smile. Today, she would search for Bella with a new energy, and a new surge of hope.

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**A/N: Planning on a chapter 2. Worth it? **


	2. Not Perfection

**To all the Reviewers, Favorites, and Story Alerts:**

**Thank you thank you thank you.**

**This was just a little story idea that I really felt compelled to write, despite my thoughts that it would get very little attention. But to the contrary.**

**Thank you all so much.**

**I write because I want to be a writer, despite feedback. But I thank you all for compelling my muse to produce a second chapter for you wonderful people. **

**All that being said. Thanks and onto chapter two!**

**Disclaimer: twilight not mine.**

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Once in a while it felt like this- empty, like there was no heart in her chest. The cavity was just an empty abyss, and there was nothing pumping the blood through her veins.

She was staring in the mirror, her breath heaving, watching tears slowly trickle down from her beautiful brown eyes. Her hair was a tangled mess, and her eyes were slowly puffing, turning red from crying. Her bottom lip quivered; she took it between her teeth to stop the trembling.

Some mornings, it felt like this. There was an absence, emptiness in her life. Surely, her mundane job kept her going, and her friend-like acquaintances kept her temporary company.

But there were days when she just woke up a wreck. Thankfully, it was her day off, but still, waking up a wreck was not okay. She glanced at the handsome man asleep in her bed. Meaningless sex, with no ties. But it tinged the nightly sting of summer loneliness. Everyone seemed to be happy and in love during the summer months.

It was true, this shaking, trembling woman in the mirror was herself- Bella Swan, twenty-four and missing her best friend so terribly that she couldn't see straight.

It was a beautiful summer day outside; a warm breeze blew the white, lacy curtains. She turned to glance out the window, at the beautiful place, her home nearly her whole life, Arizona. The half-naked man on her bed was pale and well muscled, scruff covered his face and his hair was jet black. She closed her eyes and pictured his charmingly straight smile, and his bright green eyes. It had been casual between them for a few months and everything felt fine. Neither one of them was too attached.

Bella gripped the counter, her knuckles turning white. She couldn't glance at her self in the mirror. She knew that her eyes would hold nothing but emptiness. She turned from the bathroom and glanced back into her bedroom. It should help, but it didn't. It was never enough. There was never enough to fill the void.

The man's eyes fluttered open, and she was lost in brilliant green. He smiled sleepily, yawning and stretching, giving her a good view of his naked top half.

"Hey babe." He drawled, his voice deep and sweet.

"Hi." Her own voice shook, and she couldn't take it, his perfect loving stare. She dashed to the toilet and threw up the empty contents of it, dry heaving and wiping her mouth clean. She stood slowly; gripping the counter for fear that her legs would give out. She reached for her toothbrush. She spat into the sink and threw her toothbrush back in the holder.

Before returning to bed she shut her eyes tightly, making sure she wouldn't heave again. A mental image of loving golden eyes filled her mind, a beautiful smile, a reassuring hug, and a quick kiss on the cheek. There was something missing in her life; she would be a fool to deny it. So then, she must've been a fool.

"Bella hun, come back to bed." He patted the empty space next to him, pulling back the lavender comforter.

"Alright." She forced herself to smile sweetly and crawled into bed next to the perfect man, but it didn't feel perfect. She closed her eyes and willed herself to enjoy the feel of his warm lips on her hair, and his smooth, warm chest beneath her fingertips. Perhaps, if she tried hard enough, she could find perfection right here.

**-----------**

**A/N: All is not lost. Remember in the description it did say Alice/Bella. Please be patient with my plot. If you have no patience then I am sure you will not enjoy this tale. **

**Remember: Real love stories are not like Hollywood happily-ever-after.**


	3. Meeting

**Disclaimer: Twilight not mine.**

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Sun broke through the clouds, making the day seem bright and hopeful. Alice pulled the hat down over her eyes and tightened the scarf around her neck. Despite the bright day, Alice had to pull herself together before continuing her search. There was nothing worse then false hope.

Alice watched as people passed her down the sidewalk. As usual, some turned to glance at her strange summer attire, but most just avoided her altogether. She followed her route around the small town. With no recent vision to go off of Alice wasn't sure where or when she could hope to catch a glimpse of her long-lost friend, but ever-optimistic she hoped that fate would lend a hand in her search today.

**-------------**

As always, she stopped at the second-hand bookstore in town. Between the shelves, searching for books to bide her time she also hoped to find a certain brunette in the stacks.

She ran her finger over the dusty dark-wood shelf, drawing a heart into the dust. The place wasn't lit nearly well enough, and smelled slightly musty, but the woman who owned the store knew Alice on a first-name basis. She picked a familiar book off the shelf and flipped through the pages. The copy was tattered, the pages torn, but Alice liked that, the book had history it had probably been around as long as she had, and maybe seen as much as her. It was less lonely to be around things that held history; they had spent decades alone, so perhaps she could too.

She set the book down and headed over to the next set of shelves, the bell on the door rang and Alice stood on tiptoe to glance over the shelf.

If her heart was beating in that instant it would've stopped.

Through the door walked an average brunette, she smiled politely at the cashier, and her eyes were warm, her posture suggesting she was a bit shy. Alice froze in place, watching as the woman walked completely past her to the shelves in the back. It was a pivotal moment, the chance Alice had been waiting for, and of course she couldn't help but take it.

**----------**

It took all of her effort to walk to the back of the store at human-pace. She pulled the hat and scarf off her head and carefully reached up to tap Bella on the shoulder.

The brunette turned and instantly a blush colored her cheeks. Recognition filled her soft brown eyes and a barely formed sentence stuttered from her lips.

"Bella...?" Alice spoke barely above a whisper, afraid that everything was an illusion and speaking louder might shatter it.

A smile came and faltered on Bella's rosy lips, the blush never leaving her cheeks. "Please, tell me I'm not dreaming."

Alice couldn't help but smile. "You're not dreaming." She wanted to reach out and take Bella's hand, or throw her arms around her and give her friend a hug, to skip up and kiss her on the cheek. But too much time had passed for those boundaries to be breached.

"I really can't stay long." Bella gave Alice an apologetic look.

"That's alright." Alice couldn't stop beaming. "Here." She handed Bella a slip of paper. "I'll see you later." She nearly skipped out of the store, certain that her last statement would come true, vision or not.

*********


	4. Stay

**Disclaimer: Twilight not mine.**

**Enjoy! **

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Bella walked down the sidewalk, nervously fixing her shirt. She unfolded the slip of paper again, checking the address, hardly believing that after all these years she was going to spend an evening with Alice. It would be just like old times, she hoped.

The sun was setting just as Bella reached the door and rang the bell. Alice answered, her smile brilliant as ever. Bella's heart fluttered as she walked inside.

**-----------**

Alice smiled as Bella settled on the couch; her cheeks were slightly flushed, and she was as beautiful as Alice remembered. The visions hadn't done her justice. Alice had to fight the urge to throw her arms around Bella. Instead she just smiled and placed her hand over her friend's.

"I'm glad you came." Alice grinned. "I knew you would."

Bella laughed, a sound Alice had missed so much. "I almost forgot." She smiled and sighed. "So..."

Alice realized she owed Bella an explanation. It couldn't just be a coincidence that she had run into Bella, in Arizona, after seven years...

"I've been hoping I'd find you. I've been looking actually..." Alice trailed off, averting her gaze.

"For seven years?" Bella sounded incredulous; she kept wringing her hands nervously.

Alice's smile fell. "Well, not exactly." She lost herself in Bella's warm brown eyes. "The family split apart, and Edward well..." She saw Bella flinch as she mentioned her brother's name. "...Well perhaps you don't want to hear about him."

Bella shook her head. "No, you're right. I don't. I'd rather hear about you." Bella's warm hand tightened on Alice's. She had missed the cool, smooth skin of her friend. Had missed her touch, their closeness. "I've missed you. What have you been up to?"

Alice's smile returned and she shrugged. "There was a period that wasn't so good." She returned Bella's tightened grip. "A lot of shopping." She laughed.

Bella nodded and smiled. "Of course."

"But every thing is fine now." Alice bent forward and kissed Bella's cheek. "I'm so glad you're here."

Bella's cheeks flushed. "What else? Are you really going to keep all the details to yourself? That's hardly the Alice I know. What about Jasper, where's he?"

Alice pulled her hand away, and glanced despondently at the floor. "Jasper..." Her smile turned bitter. "Let's just say we've separated for good."

"Oh Alice, I'm sorry." Bella muttered. "I shouldn't have brought it up."

"No," Alice forced herself to look up. "It's fine."

Bella lost herself in Alice's golden eyes; she noticed a sorrow in them that she had never seen before. "Alice?"

The pixie shook her head. "It's been too long Bella. It really has."

Both friends lost themselves in appreciating the company of one another. The women sighed, sinking into the couch, moving closer together. Alice drew Bella into her arms and played with her hair softly.

"There have been a few men, but mostly women over the past few years." Alice said softly. "But there's always been something missing."

Bella stiffened, not expecting to hear those details; she wanted to hear more about the Cullens. What happened exactly? Had she really been the cause of them splitting up? Guilt crept over her, even in the comfort of Alice's arms. And something else, a feeling that this was more than just Alice searching for a friend. Alice had been searching for love, could she have possibly been hoping for a companion in her? Love? No, not like that. It couldn't be, after all, Alice and the Cullens were the ones who had abandoned her. Bella shook her head.

"Bella?" Alice's voice called her back.

Bella pulled out of Alice's arms. "I... don't know if I can do this." She stood to leave.

"Do what?" Alice followed her anxiously to the door.

"I just... can't." Bella gave Alice an apologetic smile. She felt a cold hand on her arm.

"Please stay." Alice implored, her golden eyes distressed.

Bella swallowed, pushing back her guilt long enough to get through the door. "I'm sorry." She rushed out the door, leaving Alice alone on the threshold.

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**A/N: So, a few of us have been wondering about Jasper.**

**The next chapter shall explain, also more about Bella's little freak out. And Alice's thoughts. **

**A lengthy chapter is sure to come. **


	5. See This

**Disclaimer: Twilight not mine.**

**"Anger and Agony is better than Misery."**

**-Three Days Grace**

**------------**

Bella waited until she was safely behind the door to her apartment before letting the tears cascade down her cheeks. As if she was still a teenager, she fled to the bedroom and flopped down onto the plush comforter, sobbing into her pillow.

She was crying for the years apart. She was crying for the years when she thought that she was crazy, that she had dreamt up the existence of vampires. She was crying out of confusion. She was crying out of pain. She was crying because after seven years her best friend had finally returned.

After a while, her eyes red and puffy, Bella turned over and clutched a pillow to her chest. She let out a shaky sigh and tried to gather the barrage of thoughts invading her mind.

It's true, after the Cullens had first left she had found herself feeling a bit crazy, like she had gone mad. She tried to convince herself that vampires didn't exist. But then, her love for Edward couldn't have just been a dream inside her warped head, could it? Therapy, moving back to her home state, and landing a job. All of these had allowed her to gain some semblance of a normal life. But there was always that void, those nagging thoughts, and the dreams that would remind her of those golden-eyed gods.

And then there had been men. A few men. Meaningless sex, because tying herself down to someone would mean getting hurt again. Years of holding herself together only to be brought down by a single man? No. Empty sex. That's how it was, and how it had to be. But being brought down by a woman?

Alice was back. Back into her life. Real as ever. Months of wasted therapy. Bella shook her head. How dare she? How dare Alice come back after all this time and expect everything to be as it once was? It couldn't be after all. Alice was asking too much of her. That was certain. But why then did Bella feel compelled to run back to her, fling herself into Alice's arms, and apologize for leaving so abruptly.

No. Bella sighed, tossing the pillow to the floor. Alice Cullen was as real as ever, but that didn't mean Bella had to deal with her. She walked over to the living room and picked up the phone, dialing a familiar number.

"Hey babe." A sweet, deep voice answered. "Need some lovin?"

"Yes." Bella replied. "How soon can you get here?"

**-----------**

Not even the sunrise did anything to quell Alice's feelings of anxiousness. She had spent all night staring out the windows, wondering what she had done wrong. But of course, it hadn't taken her long to figure out what it was. Abandoning Bella, with not so much as a note, the whole family leaving after Edward broke her heart. Leaving Bella with no contact.

Alice sighed and rubbed her temples. She had expected too much right away. Letting the comment slip about her flings over the past seven years. But surely Bella had to realize that Alice was here for her now, offering her friendship, her love. Although, perhaps Bella didn't want Alice now, or ever. Of course Bella's one true love had been Edward; she probably hadn't even considered the fact that Alice...

The pixie vampire shook her head. Okay. So it was too much to expect Bella to fall back into her life and reciprocate her romantic intentions. Still, that didn't mean she was going to give up entirely. Alice was nothing if not persistent. After all, she couldn't imagine what to do with her eternity after this...

Jasper had followed Alice on the search for Bella, initially. For the first couple of years they attempted to find the human and just make sure she was doing alright. After all, Alice's visions had shown her nothing but trouble for Bella in the months to come. But, Bella made choices that Alice never would've foreseen. She had never experienced so many visions that changed so frequently, so abruptly. Her head was left spinning most of the time.

After two years of searching she had grown frustrated. Ignoring the occasional vision and just spending time in the arms of her southern gentleman. But Jasper had seen the change in Alice. That this was no longer a frantic search for a lost friend, but something more. She kissed him less, relied on him less. They spent more and more time apart. Until, finally she had confessed the true nature of her obsession with the search for Bella Swan. Jasper had known. He had been sensing the feelings from her for months. Like the good gentleman that he is, Jasper had left, not wanting to get in the way of Alice's feelings for another.

So, she had spent the past four years with short trysts. Searching only for someone to share her bed at night, while working on controlling her bloodlust and romantic lust. There had been near mishaps, but none close enough that she had stopped.

Alice sighed again. Just when happiness was within her reach. The one person she wanted to spend eternity with didn't even want to speak to her. Just as well, Alice would let Bella warm up to the idea. But by no means would she give up. There would be no abandoning this time around. Alice wanted Bella, and she would do anything to make Bella see that.

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	6. Abandoned

**Disclaimer: Twilight not mine.**

**Thanks for your patience **

**------------**

The sun sank behind the hills; it was as beautiful as if the moment was captured in a painting by a maestro of the arts.

Alice watched as the last few rays of sunshine slipped away. As night fell, she grabbed her purse and locked the door behind her, heading off into the night with purpose.

**-----**

A dim light illuminated the sidewalk as Alice reached her destination. As the door swung open a hushed cacophony of music and chatter filled the air. She walked up to the counter and purchased a drink, merely for show of course. Then settled down at a table near the back and pretended to read a novel.

It had been a month since she had seen Bella last. Alice had given her space, but she was determined not to give up. Her vision had led her to the right place, now she just had to wait for fate to take its course.

Time ticked by unsettlingly slow as the pixie glanced at every person who entered the small coffee shop. When finally, she saw exactly who she was looking for. She swept into the shop and suddenly Alice couldn't help the grin that spread across her face. She waved to Bella, knowing the exact moment that her friend would look in that general direction. Some emotion flitted across Bella's face that Alice could not name. She went to the counter and purchased a drink. Alice shut her book and set it down slowly.

"Hello Bella." She could hear the cheer emanating from her own voice.

"Alice." Bella mumbled, taking the seat across from the pixie and placing her drink down on the table.

"Funny seeing you here." Alice winked, hoping to draw a laugh from her friend, but Bella just grimaced.

"It's not so funny, considering you used that little talent of yours." Bella tapped her own temple. "It's not fair." She said under her breath.

Alice couldn't help but feel like Bella was been petulant. "I could go." Alice shrugged. "If I've really inconvenienced you that much."

"No, no." Bella sighed, running her hand through her hair. "We've got to get this over with eventually."

The grin fell from Alice's face. Get it over with? Hadn't Bella wanted to see her? Even a little?

Bella took a sip of her drink. "So, what have you been up to?"

"Waiting to run into you again." Alice stated evenly.

Bella shook her head. "Okay. Wrong kind of question. I just lost out on a promotion at work."

"Oh, I'm sorry." Alice said sincerely. She glanced at the dark circles under Bella's eyes and noticed the slightly disheveled look to her hair. "What's been going on, Bella?" She placed her icy hand over Bella's warm, pulsing one. She discreetly breathed in Bella's scent.

"Nothing that's your concern, Alice." Bella almost seemed bitter. "After all, you've been gone long enough that I am not even your concern."

Alice stared into Bella's chocolate brown eyes. "You know that's not true. I've been searching for you."

"You've no idea what your family put me through." Bella whispered angrily.

Alice leaned across the table. "I know and I'm sorry, but Bella I'm here now. If you need me, I'll listen. I'm here for you now."

Bella shook her head slowly and took in a deep breath. Alice watched as her friend quietly crumbled before her eyes, tears slowly trickling down Bella's cheeks.

"How can I trust that now? After everything I had to go through alone?"

Bella leaned back in her chair, but Alice was ever-persistent. "You've got me, Bella."

"After seven years of abandonment how can I believe that?" Bella gave Alice one last look before storming out of the shop without so much as a second glance.

**-------**

Alice walked slowly back to her rented house. A summer rain began to soak through her light shirt and drench her hair. The earth's tears kept her sane, because her own eyes could not shed a single drop. Of course Bella was hurt. She was protecting herself from being hurt again. And Alice certainly wouldn't be the one to watch her friend break. She had always been there for Bella, in good times and bad. But now she felt completely inadequate. What good was living for eternity if she couldn't help someone that she loved?

Alice shook her head, watching as drops splashed the sidewalk. The biggest mistake she could make would be not to go to Bella there and then. It would make the void between them greater, their friendship even more strained. Alice paused, turning to look in the direction that Bella has walked. She knew the way, but did she have the strength to make it there before the night was through?

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	7. Kiss

**Disclaimer: Twilight not mine.**

**Thanks for your patience **

**Short but sweet. **

**------------**

Alice shook her head, watching as drops splashed the sidewalk. The biggest mistake she could make would be not to go to Bella there and then. It would make the void between them greater, their friendship even more strained. Alice paused, turning to look in the direction that Bella has walked. She knew the way, but did she have the strength to make it there before the night was through?

**----------**

Bella, eyes red and puffy, let Alice through the door with a small smile.

"I thought you'd just let me walk away." She gestured for her friend to sit on the couch.

Alice took a seat, her eyes locked onto Bella's. "I had to be with you."

"I'm glad." Bella glanced Alice over. "You're soaked, should I...?"

Alice shook her head. "It's fine. I don't plan on staying long." She could swear that she almost saw the smile fade from Bella's lips. She placed her icy hand over her friend's.

"I know what's happened in the past and I realize that it's hurt you. But, I mean it when I say that I'm here now." Alice stared into Bella's warm brown eyes. Both friends stared at each other in complacent silence, letting the moment settle in around them, and realize the intenseness of their situation.

Both women leaned closer, foreheads touching. Alice focused on the closeness of Bella's lips, the warmth of her breath, and the sweet smell of her scent. She wondered if Bella was thinking the same thoughts, just about her.

Warm fingers brushed the dripping hair out of Alice's eyes. A shiver of pleasure rippled through Alice.

"Can we do this?" Bella whispered, her lips nearly brushing Alice's.

"Only if you want to." But all of Alice was expecting, anticipating the next move before it happen.

Their lips touched like a surge of fire, passion streamed between them as their mouths moved, tongues meshed and Bella was laying on top of Alice, feeling her wet clothing soak through her own, until they were a mesh of limbs and a working of hips and tongues on the couch.

Alice whimpered and bit gently at Bella's bottom lip. "I must be dreaming."

"Then we're both in the same marvelous dream." A lazy grin spread across Bella's lips.

If time could stop in that exact moment, happiness would know no bounds.

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